When Professional Rejection Feels Personal

After feeling rejection after rejection professionally, discouragement can settle in heavily when it comes to our careers and growth—or the lack of it.

As mothers, I think we sometimes fall into one of two mindsets:

We either become consumed with proving how capable we are outside of motherhood… or we simply show up to work to collect a check and support our children.

And honestly? Whatever you need to do to provide for your babies is okay.

But eventually many of us still feel that tension:
The desire to grow.
The desire to challenge ourselves again.
The desire to pursue something bigger professionally.

And putting yourself out there repeatedly—especially after disappointment—is hard.

Something I had to learn the hard way is that every “no” isn’t necessarily failure. Sometimes it’s God’s way of saying:

• it’s not for you
• or it’s simply not for you right now

I started realizing that in some areas, I truly wasn’t ready for the next step because I wasn’t being humble where I already was. I wasn’t applying myself fully. I wasn’t showing up intentionally in my responsibilities, and eventually that became discouraging in itself.

But what about the moments when you are trying?
What about when you are showing up, putting in effort, and still hearing “no”?

Those moments hurt too.

But I’ve also learned that rejection can be redirection.

Every closed door is not the end of your story. Sometimes it’s protection. Sometimes it’s preparation. Sometimes it’s pushing you toward something more aligned with who God is calling you to become.

If we spend all our time dwelling on every door that closes, we can miss the possibility that something better is ahead—something where we don’t lose ourselves trying to prove our worth.

Because our value is not tied to a title.

Our worth is not determined by a position, promotion, or opportunity.

Our worth comes from who God calls us to be and what He calls us to do.

So yes, grieve the “no.”
Feel the disappointment.
Acknowledge the discouragement.

But don’t stay there.

Those “no’s” may be the very thing pushing you closer to your true “yes.”

My career has always been important to me.

I finally got the opportunity to work in the field I wanted—healthcare corporate—for a company I genuinely admired. At first, I was excited just to be there. I had accomplished something I worked hard for.

But after about a year and a half, something shifted.

I knew my role well enough to feel confident in it, but I also started feeling stuck. I wanted to contribute more. I wanted to grow beyond my current position and make a larger impact on the people and processes connected to the work we do.

So I started applying for other opportunities.

And when rejection after rejection came back, I got discouraged.

When Confidence Turns Into Autopilot

At some point, I started questioning everything.

I remember thinking:
What’s the point?

I had the degrees.
I had a certification that felt valuable and relevant.
On paper, I looked qualified.

So what was I missing?

Honestly, I didn’t know.

And because I didn’t know, I stopped trying as hard as I should have.

For another year and a half, I moved through work on autopilot. I showed up, completed my responsibilities, and did enough to get by—but I wasn’t intentionally growing. Sometimes I even fell short there.

The roles I dreamed about were in supply chain, process improvement, and change management. But the truth was… I wasn’t actively applying those concepts within my current environment.

I wanted growth without fully practicing it where I already was.

The Moment Things Started Changing

What really changed my perspective was unexpectedly simple:

Training new hires.

As I started helping onboard and train others, I realized something uncomfortable—I didn’t like the way I foundational knowledge was being communicated. The training I was giving felt scattered, inconsistent, and difficult to follow.

And honestly, I knew it could be better.

So instead of just noticing the issue and moving on, I started thinking deeper about solutions.

I talked with coworkers, reflected on my own experience when I first started, and began working on the idea of creating a more structured foundational training process for our team.

It’s still a work in progress, but something about that shift reignited me professionally.

For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t just thinking about the next position—I was thinking about how to create value where I already was.

What I Realized

As I started developing ideas and thinking through improvements, I found myself pulling from:

• previous roles
• school experiences
• certifications
• professional concepts I had learned but never fully applied

And suddenly all the things I thought were “missing” weren’t actually missing at all.

I just wasn’t using them intentionally.

That realization changed everything for me.

Rejection Isn’t Always Redirection—Sometimes It’s Preparation

I used to look at rejection as proof that I wasn’t ready.

Now I look at it differently.

Sometimes rejection reveals where you still need to grow—not just in credentials, but in contribution, initiative, confidence, and application.

Instead of dwelling on the roles I didn’t get, I started asking:

How can I show up differently where I am right now?

 What value can I create today that aligns with where I want to go tomorrow?

That mindset shift helped me stop waiting for growth and start practicing it daily.

Final Thought

If you feel discouraged professionally, don’t let rejection convince you to disconnect from your potential.

Instead:

• Invest in skills you can apply now
• Look for opportunities to improve processes around you
• Contribute beyond your basic responsibilities
• Practice the mindset and behaviors required for the role you want before you get there

Because sometimes the biggest shift in your career starts when you stop focusing only on the next opportunity… and start becoming intentional where you already are.

There was a point where life felt like nothing but survival mode.

I was doing the bare minimum everywhere—not because I didn’t care, but because I felt stretched thin in every direction. I was working, parenting, handling responsibilities, and constantly reacting to whatever life threw at me next. I told myself I didn’t have time to intentionally grow in other areas of my life.

But honestly? That excuse stopped making sense.

As a single mom working two full-time jobs, I had to realize something important:

I may not control how chaotic life gets, but I can control how intentional I am with the time I do have.

The Truth About “Free Time”

Free time as a working mom almost feels nonexistent.

No matter what shift you work or how organized you try to be, there is always something that needs your attention. Someone needs you. Something needs to get done. And on top of that, most of us are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

For me, my coping mechanism became scrolling social media anytime I had a moment to breathe.

And while it felt like “rest,” it usually left me feeling worse.

Mindless scrolling turned into mindless snacking.
Mindless snacking turned into laziness.
And suddenly every break became recovery mode instead of an opportunity to pour back into myself.

I wasn’t intentionally growing—I was just trying to get through the day.

The Shift That Changed Everything

Things started changing when I stopped waiting for life to calm down before investing in myself.

I began using my work breaks intentionally.

Instead of spending every free moment scrolling, I started:

• Listening to professional development podcasts
• Watching YouTube videos about skills related to future roles I’m interested in
• Researching certifications and growth opportunities
• Working on projects that could add value to my team
• Writing and brainstorming ideas

I separated my daily responsibilities from my future growth goals.

That shift mattered.

Because instead of only surviving my current situation, I started preparing for where I wanted to go next.

Small Steps Still Count

One thing I had to learn was to stop obsessing over the end goal.

I tend to see the bigger picture and want to jump straight there. But growth doesn’t work like that. The journey matters too.

So instead of trying to completely overhaul my life overnight, I made one promise to myself:

At minimum, I would dedicate 30 intentional minutes a day toward becoming a better version of myself.

Some days it looked like studying.
Some days it looked like writing.
Some days it was simply listening to a development video while eating lunch.

But I stayed intentional.

And honestly, even if you only have 15 minutes a day, that still adds up to over 90 hours a year spent investing into yourself.

That matters.

Stop Waiting for Life to Slow Down

Life may never fully calm down.

There will always be responsibilities, stress, exhaustion, and unexpected moments. But if you keep waiting for the “perfect time” to invest in yourself, you may end up waiting forever.

Create intentional moments anyway.

Protect your time.
Protect your growth.
Protect the version of yourself you’re trying to become.

I’m still growing. I’m still learning. I’m still building. But I stopped waiting for life to feel easy before deciding I was worth the effort.

Recommendations for Intentional Growth

• Search YouTube for skills related to your dream role
• Invest in learning platforms like Udemy or LinkedIn Learning
• Read articles, books, and industry content regularly
• Research your future role and start applying those skills where you are now
• Use small pockets of time intentionally instead of waiting for large amounts of free time
• Invest in my development journal on Amazon for professional development
  • Developing: A professional development journal https://a.co/d/0iBTCwVU

Final Thought

Routine doesn’t remove chaos.

But intentionality helps you grow through it.

And sometimes showing up for yourself consistently in small ways matters more than one big life-changing moment ever will.

As I sat there looking at our engagement survey, I felt a mix of things:

1. Are they really going to look into this?
2. I don’t even know what to put.

So I did what most people probably do—I gave neutral answers. Nothing too strong, nothing too detailed… just enough to move through it.

But later, I realized I missed an opportunity.

Not because the survey wasn’t important—but because I hadn’t taken the time to truly understand my own needs in the workplace.

The Concept I Forgot to Apply

One concept I’ve learned before—but didn’t apply in that moment—is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

At its core, it breaks down human needs into five levels:

1. Physiological needs – basic comfort and accessibility
2. Safety – physical and emotional security
3. Love & belonging – feeling connected and included
4. Esteem – recognition, confidence, and value
5. Self-actualization – reaching your full potential

Looking back, I realized I hadn’t paused to evaluate how my role aligned with these needs—or how I was showing up within them.

Where the Shift Happens

It’s easy to look at a job and ask:

👉 “Is this enough?”

But a better question is:

👉 “How does this role support my needs—and how am I contributing within that?”

Because growth isn’t just about the company meeting expectations.
It’s also about understanding what you need to show up fully.

Questions Worth Asking Yourself

If you’re evaluating your current role—or considering a new one—start here:

1.

What do I need to feel comfortable day-to-day?

Think about your environment:

• Is it supportive of your basic needs?
• Do you feel physically and mentally able to do your work well?

2.

What helps me feel like I belong?

• Do you value connection with your team?
• Do you prefer collaboration or independence?

3.

How do I define meaningful recognition?

• Do you feel fulfilled by your contributions?
• What kind of acknowledgment motivates you?

4.

What does support look like for me?

• How do you recharge mentally?
• What kind of environment helps you stay balanced?

5.

What does growth look like for me?

• What skills do you want to build?
• What challenges help you move forward?

The Reality Most People Skip

Understanding your needs is just as important as understanding the role itself.

Because when your needs aren’t aligned:

• Motivation drops
• Burnout increases
• Growth feels forced instead of natural

And over time, that doesn’t just impact your work—it can carry into your personal life too.

Final Thought

Before assuming a role isn’t fulfilling—or jumping to the next opportunity—take a step back and evaluate:

👉 Do I fully understand what I need?
👉 Am I showing up in alignment with that?

Because clarity changes everything.

When you understand your needs, you don’t just work—you grow with intention.

Source

This reflection is inspired by general principles from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a widely recognized framework for understanding human motivation.

The Moment That Checked Me: A Lesson in Professional Growth

I’m sitting at my desk when I get that Teams ping from my manager:

“You got a minute?”

My stomach drops.

As I type “yes,” my mind starts racing replaying every task, every email, every decision—trying to figure out what this could be about.

We walk into the nearest meeting room, and he tells me it’s time for my PMP review.

And honestly? I already knew.

It wasn’t going to be the worst review… but it definitely wasn’t going to be my best either.

Why? Let’s be real.

I hadn’t been applying myself.

I had been doing just enough to get my check.
Just enough to stay afloat.
Just enough to be “good”… with a little coaching along the way.

But mentally? I wasn’t fully there.

So walking into that meeting, I wasn’t surprised I was prepared.

The Truth I Didn’t Want to Admit

Looking back, there were signs everywhere:

• I spent more time applying to other internal roles than growing in my current one
• I asked for feedback on PowerPoints… while mentally already checked out
• I wasn’t taking initiative beyond my assigned responsibilities
• I wasn’t actively contributing to team growth or improvement
• I lacked confidence in areas I should’ve been building strength in—like training and development

And the hardest truth?

I felt entitled to growth I hadn’t earned yet.

I was so focused on where I wanted to be…
that I completely ignored the steps required to get there.

I didn’t want the process.
I wanted the outcome.

The Shift

After that meeting, I made a decision:

I was going to show up differently.

Not just for myself but for my team.

I had to stop chasing the idea of growth
and start doing the work that creates it.

Getting Intentional About Growth

I’ve always had a desire to help people professionally and personally.
But I realized I thrive most on the business side, especially in:

• Process improvement
• Change management
• Team development

So I asked myself one simple question:

“What problems keep happening and how can I help solve them?”

That question changed everything.

Instead of waiting for opportunities,
I started looking for ways to create value where I already was.

The Real Reason I Was Stuck

For a while, I told myself it was lack of experience.

But if I’m honest?

After about a year and a half, that wasn’t the issue anymore.

The truth was:

I wasn’t being intentional.

I had the qualifications on paper but nothing to show for them in action.

And that realization?
It humbled me.

The Mentor That Helped Me Refocus

I decided to do something different.

I reached out to someone in a role I wanted and asked them to mentor me.

(Yes… the same person I interviewed with and didn’t get the job.)

Instead of being discouraged, I got curious.

I asked:

• What am I missing?
• Where can I grow?
• What should I be focusing on next?

His advice?

Project management.

Why I Chose Project Management

I already had:

• A degree in management (with a supply chain focus)
• A Six Sigma certification

But I hadn’t fully tapped into what those meant in practice.

So I started studying for the Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM).

And let me tell you
it changed my perspective completely.

I started to understand:

• How projects actually move
• How strategy connects to execution
• How I can contribute beyond my role

I haven’t taken the exam yet, but the learning alone has already started shaping how I show up at work.

The Lesson

Growth isn’t about what you deserve.
It’s about what you’re demonstrating.

I had to accept that:

I wasn’t stuck. I just wasn’t ready.

And once I owned that?
Everything started to shift.

If You Feel Stuck Professionally, Read This

Before you say you deserve more, ask yourself:

• What is my actual end goal?
• What does that role require daily?
• Am I practicing those skills right now?

Because the truth is:

You don’t get promoted into readiness you prepare for it first.

How to Start Showing Up Differently

If you’re ready to grow, start here:

1. Learn with intention
Use platforms like:

• LinkedIn Learning
• Udemy
• YouTube
• Your company’s internal training tools

2. Find a mentor
Learn from someone already where you want to be.

3. Solve problems where you are
Stop waiting for a new role to grow, start contributing now.

Final Word

There is value in where you are right now.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Even if it’s uncomfortable.

Even if it’s humbling.

Be patient. Be intentional. Be consistent.

The opportunity meant for you will come
but only if you’ve prepared yourself to receive it.

Photo made with AI