As a single mom, something I wrestle with is this question:

How do I make sure my babies have a strong foundation when God designed fathers to play such an important role in a child’s life?

Even when fathers are involved from separate households, I still find myself wondering if I’m giving my girls everything they need to feel safe, secure, and grounded.

Truthfully, I think part of that struggle comes from my own childhood.

There were cracks in my sense of safety growing up. Not physical safety, but emotional safety. There were moments where things felt uncertain, and because of that, I sometimes question whether I’m showing up the right way for my daughters.

My girls are physically safe.

They are loved.

They are cared for.

They seem emotionally healthy.

But sometimes I still wonder if I’m missing something.

For example, my oldest daughter absolutely hates anything dirty. If something gets on her hands, she’s cleaning it off immediately.

One of her chores is putting away clean dishes and loading dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

Simple enough, right?

Not exactly.

Most days it comes with an attitude.

An eye roll.

A sigh.

A dramatic walk to the kitchen.

A complaint or two.

And every time it happens, I find myself wondering if I’m handling it correctly.

I explain that responsibilities don’t disappear just because we don’t feel like doing them. There are plenty of things I don’t want to do in life, but I still have to show up and fulfill my responsibilities.

Sometimes that conversation ends with a “Yes ma’am.”

Sometimes it ends with tears.

Sometimes it ends with tension.

And afterward, I find myself questioning my leadership.

Am I teaching responsibility?

Or am I missing an opportunity to shape something deeper?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe my concern isn’t really about the dishes.

Maybe it’s about wanting my daughters to have a stronger foundation than I had.

I want them to know who they are.

I want them to know they belong.

I want them to know they are loved, valued, and capable.

I want them to have the confidence to walk through this world knowing exactly whose they are.

And that’s where I realized something important.

While I can’t provide everything on my own, I don’t have to.

God never asked me to be everything.

He asked me to trust Him.

Because what God can provide for my daughters is greater than what any earthly parent can provide on their own.

His love is constant.

His protection is constant.

His guidance is constant.

And while I may not always have all the answers, I can point my girls toward the One who does.

So maybe the answer isn’t trying to fill every gap perfectly.

Maybe the answer is inviting God into our home more intentionally.

More conversations about faith.

More prayer together.

More teaching them who God says they are.

More reminders that their identity isn’t found in what they do, how they perform, or what other people think.

Their identity is found in Him.

And maybe that’s the strongest foundation I can give them.

Not a perfect mother.

Not a perfect home.

But a home that points them toward a perfect God.

With love,

Momma Riah 💜

The uncertainty of daily life as a single mom is when it feels the heaviest.

As moms, we’re usually the first ones to make sacrifices for our children. Majority of the time, when the babies get sick, Momma becomes the nurse too.

This week, my youngest caught a stomach bug that eventually spread to me and my oldest daughter.

And honey…

We were all down bad.

I remember sitting there looking at my babies feeling miserable while also feeling sick myself, and it suddenly hit me:

I’m having to do this alone.

Now granted, there were people who offered to help, and I’m beyond grateful for that because not everyone has support.

But I didn’t want the sickness spreading further, and honestly, I also knew this was one of those moments I would have to learn how to navigate on my own again.

My babies.
My responsibility.

And in that moment, the guilt, sadness, and frustration all had to take a backseat because my girls needed me.

So I pulled it together for them.

I think one of the hardest parts about single motherhood is carrying the emotional weight of always having to figure things out.

Even when you have a village.

Even when people care.

I’m personally someone who struggles with bringing my problems to others, so most of the time I try to handle things in-house first.

Not because I don’t appreciate help…

But because I know ultimately I still have to learn how to navigate life and motherhood when things get hard.

Now that everyone is feeling better again and I can hear my girls laughing and playing together, I feel content.

And honestly?

It made me realize something.

Even in the moments where I feel exhausted, overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or uncertain…

I still got this.

Not perfectly.
Not gracefully every time.
But by the grace of God, I’m getting through it.

Sometimes I think women forget just how capable we truly are.

Or maybe we simply don’t realize it until life forces us into moments we never imagined we could handle.

And somehow…

We still do.

Those babies are fed.
They’re clothed.
They have a roof over their precious heads.
They are loved deeply.

And whether you’re making that happen while working multiple jobs, relying on your village, doing it completely on your own, or simply surviving day by day…

You are doing it, Momma.

So celebrate the little wins.

Celebrate getting everyone through the day.
Celebrate making dinner.
Celebrate surviving the hard weeks.
Celebrate continuing to show up even when you feel exhausted.

Take time for yourself too.

Read a book.
Take a bath.
Go for a walk.
Work out.
Buy yourself something nice.
Sit in silence and breathe.
Pray.
Talk to the Lord.

Because all those little moments of caring for yourself matter too.

And one day, your children will grow up and benefit from all the love, sacrifice, strength, and resilience you poured into them.

And honey…

You helped build that.

With love,
Momma Riah 💜

Something I’ve been struggling with lately is wanting to cook my kids decent meals every single night.

And honestly?

Sometimes I’m just tired.

Like mentally, emotionally, physically… I just do not have the capacity to do it.

For my youngest, it’s a little easier. I can grab those little food trays, season them up a bit, and my baby girl will DEVOUR them. She’s happy, fed, and living her best life.

Now my oldest?

My picky babygirl is a whole different story.

She definitely likes her meals cooked fresh, and lately she has been obsessed with chicken fried rice. I swear it’s her favorite meal right now because I’m making it at least once a week when she comes back from her dad’s house.

But what about those nights when I don’t want to cook?

The nights where I’m like:
“Okay… it’s leftover night.”
Or:
“Find something in the cabinet and heat it up, baby.”

And when those moments happen, I feel guilty.

Not because my kids aren’t taken care of—but because I put pressure on myself to constantly do everything at full capacity.

Meanwhile, I’m still running around getting everyone ready for bed, cleaning up, mentally preparing for the next day, or just trying to take five minutes to reset my own mind.

I be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to do it all.

I say all this to say:

I am not a perfect, five-star mom.

My kids are loved.
My kids are cared for.
My kids are safe.

But honey… I absolutely have my reset moments.

And truthfully?

Sometimes those moments are necessary so I can show up better the next day.

Do I still feel guilt sometimes? Yes.

But there is nothing in my home that is going to harm my children because I chose rest over cooking a full meal one night.

It just may not be exactly what they wanted that day.

And that’s okay.

I think as moms we try way too hard to be perfect.

But our kids also need to see healthy imperfection.

They need to know it’s okay to slow down sometimes.
It’s okay to rest.
It’s okay to not always operate at 100%.

Life still moves forward.

The house still functions.

And love is still present.

Honestly, I even need that reminder myself.

One thing I do think could help me is prepping little freezer trays of my oldest daughter’s favorite meals for those nights when I truly don’t feel like cooking.

Not because I’m failing…

But because I’m learning how to work with myself instead of constantly running myself into the ground trying to meet unrealistic expectations.

At the end of the day, we love these little gremlins with everything in us.

And sometimes I just have to remind myself:

I am doing my best.

And as long as my girls are happy, healthy, loved, and cared for…

Then I did my job for the day.

With love,
Momma Riah 💜

As I lay in bed watching how peacefully my baby girl sleeps, I feel happy and at ease.

But sometimes… that peace gets interrupted by guilt.

If you didn’t know already, I’m a single mom to two beautiful little girls with two different fathers.

And honestly?

That sentence never gets easier to say out loud.

The guilt I was feeling came from the idea that I “picked wrong.” That I chose relationships that didn’t work out the way I once hoped they would.

Now, to be clear, I truly believe co-parenting is what’s best for our situation. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard sometimes.

Watching my less-than-one-year-old leave for her dad’s house can feel bittersweet.

Yes, I get a break.

But a huge part of who I am is tied to hearing little feet running around, random giggles, toys all over the floor, and tiny voices yelling “Mommy.”

So when the house gets quiet…

It feels quiet.

I had to remind myself that just because life didn’t turn out exactly how I imagined doesn’t mean it turned out bad.

My girls are happy.

They are loved deeply.

They have what they need and more.

And most importantly, they are able to build relationships with both parents and the people around them who love them.

Honestly, hearing their laughs and seeing their joy helps calm my mind.

It reminds me:
“Okay… maybe I am doing something right.”

Now let me be honest…

Sharing motherhood is hard sometimes.

There are moments where selfishly, I want my babies with me all the time.

But I also know how important it is for children to feel supported, loved, and connected on all sides.

They say it takes a village, and I truly believe that.

Even if the village doesn’t always look how we pictured it.

So how have I started working through the mom guilt?

By realizing I can’t lose myself in motherhood.

In order for me to fully show up for my children, I also have to show up for myself.

And that meant I had to start prioritizing Momma too.

I started taking myself on solo dates.

And since I’m single, I decided to stop waiting for someone else to create experiences for me that I could create for myself.

So now?

I’m doing the things I always wanted someone else to do with me… and honestly, it’s been healing.

Because these moments give me more than just something to do.

They give me:
Peace.
Creativity.
Softness.
Adventure.
Confidence.
Identity outside of motherhood.
And emotional connection with myself.

Solo Date Ideas

Candlelight dinner
Weekend getaway
Spa day
Picnic
Pottery class
Scrapbook night
Art museum or gallery
Cooking class
Stargazing
Jewelry making
At-home sip and paint
Dance class
Aquarium
Fruit picking
Facial appointment
Comedy show
Wine tasting
Opera or play
Yoga class
Tie-dye night
ATV riding
Vision board night
Movie date
Botanical gardens
Farmers market
Horseback riding
Nature journaling walk
Letter writing
Open mic night
Rooftop restaurant or bar
Zoo trip
Zip lining
5K walk or run

These are just a few things that personally bring me joy.

But honestly?

Get to know yourself again.

Try something new just because you can.

Go to community events. Explore local experiences. Find hobbies that make you feel alive outside of just being “Mom.”

And don’t be afraid to ask for help finding ideas either.

Shoot… even ask ChatGPT for recommendations based on your interests.

Some dates can be budget friendly. Some may take planning. But regardless of what it looks like, take that time for yourself, Momma.

You deserve joy too.

And remember:

You are doing better than you think you are.

With love,
Momma Riah 💜

Good day, beautiful.

This one is for my moms.

Before you read another word, I want you to pause and give yourself a round of applause… because honey you’re doing it. You are trying. And those babies? They see you.

I know we get caught up in the idea of what a “good mom” is supposed to look like. The picture-perfect version. The Pinterest version. The social media version.

But listen, honey…

If your babies are safe, healthy, cared for, and loved you are already doing an amazing job.

It does not have to look like anyone else’s version of motherhood.

And that was something I had to learn the hard way.

I used to think being a “good mom” meant taking my kids to extravagant places, creating magical moments all the time, cooking five-star meals every night…

But reality?

I work two jobs.

Some nights… it’s spaghetti.

And guess what? That’s okay.

Because being a good mom is not about perfection it’s about presence.

And truthfully? The only people whose opinion should matter about your motherhood… are your kids.

But here’s the part I had to face:

Somewhere in trying to be everything for my kids… I stopped showing up for myself.

Taking care of yourself as a mom?

It’s always the first thing to get pushed to the back burner.

It becomes this constant mental battle:
“I gotta do this for the kids.”
“I need to handle that.”
“Let me make sure they’re good first.”

And if you’re working, managing a home, maybe even a relationship?

That to-do list in your head never stops.

Even when you do have support… it can still feel hard to slow down and choose yourself.

And I think part of the problem is we make self-care feel too big.

We think it has to look like:
Working out five days a week
Eating perfectly healthy
Reading, journaling, socializing, healing… all at once

It becomes overwhelming before we even start.

For me, I realized I was so focused on being a “perfect mom”… that I wasn’t pouring into myself at all.

And we’ve all heard the saying about pouring from an empty cup, right?

So I won’t go too deep into it but I will say this:

You cannot consistently show up for others if you are not showing up for yourself.

Eventually, you will run dry.

And when that happens… it shows up as irritability, burnout, isolation, snapping at the people you love, emotional overload…

Things you never intended to give to your family.

My wake up call didn’t come gently.

It came all at once.

I was facing health concerns—high blood pressure, high cholesterol.
I was diagnosed with bipolar II.
I was dealing with family court.
Financial stress.
And then… I became a single mom of two girls.

I had every excuse to put myself last.

And for a while I did.

Until one day, after feeling everything all at once, I made a decision:

This is not who I want to be anymore.

I didn’t just want to survive.

I wanted to show up for myself and for the people I love.

So I started doing something different.

I started dating myself.

Because if I didn’t have someone showing up for me the way I needed…

I was going to do it for myself.

I decided to love myself the same way I so freely loved others.

And I started small.

I bought myself flowers.

Nothing fancy just a simple bouquet of purple carnations from the store.

But I brought them home, put them in a vase, and actually enjoyed them.

That moment?

That was the beginning of me learning how to love myself intentionally.

One thing I had to unlearn was this:

I don’t have to wait for someone else to give me what I need.

And I don’t need excuses for why I can’t show up for myself.

Because let’s be honest…

We’ll say we don’t have time or money but then spend it on things that don’t pour into us at all.

So here’s what I recommend:

Start with your love language.

Figure out what actually makes you feel loved.

Then make a list of things you’d enjoy—no matter how small.

And after that?

Ask yourself what’s stopping you.

Is it time? Money? Guilt?

Whatever it is find a way to work around it.

Not everything has to be big or expensive.

For example:
If you want a five star dining experience but can’t afford it…

Create it at home.

Cook the meal.
Play music.
Light candles.
Dress up if you want to.

Make it an experience.

Because showing up for yourself doesn’t mean changing your life overnight it means adjusting what you already have.

For me, dating myself didn’t stop at flowers.

It grew.

I started working out three times a week—not for perfection, but to feel strong and take care of my body.

I started writing again.

This blog… my book Beautiful Shambles… journaling… reading…

These were things I loved long before life got busy.

And somewhere along the way, I had abandoned them.

Coming back to those things?

That felt like love.

Real love.

And because of that I’ve been able to show up for my kids, my life, and myself better than ever before.

So let me remind you, mama:

You are worth the effort.

Love is a choice.

And choosing to love yourself should be at the top of your list—not the bottom.

Because when you do?

Everything else in your life gets a better version of you.

Here are a few simple ways to start showing up for yourself:

Get closer to God — spend time in the Word, pray, go to church
Learn something new — a skill, a hobby, anything that excites you
Move your body — gym, walks, yoga, Pilates, at-home workouts
Build community — mom groups, Bible studies, book clubs
Go outside — take a walk, breathe, reset
Create something — draw, write, color, DIY
And most importantly… date yourself

Show up for yourself, mama.

You deserve to feel that love too.

— Mariah 💜