As I lay in bed watching how peacefully my baby girl sleeps, I feel happy and at ease.

But sometimes… that peace gets interrupted by guilt.

If you didn’t know already, I’m a single mom to two beautiful little girls with two different fathers.

And honestly?

That sentence never gets easier to say out loud.

The guilt I was feeling came from the idea that I “picked wrong.” That I chose relationships that didn’t work out the way I once hoped they would.

Now, to be clear, I truly believe co-parenting is what’s best for our situation. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard sometimes.

Watching my less-than-one-year-old leave for her dad’s house can feel bittersweet.

Yes, I get a break.

But a huge part of who I am is tied to hearing little feet running around, random giggles, toys all over the floor, and tiny voices yelling “Mommy.”

So when the house gets quiet…

It feels quiet.

I had to remind myself that just because life didn’t turn out exactly how I imagined doesn’t mean it turned out bad.

My girls are happy.

They are loved deeply.

They have what they need and more.

And most importantly, they are able to build relationships with both parents and the people around them who love them.

Honestly, hearing their laughs and seeing their joy helps calm my mind.

It reminds me:
“Okay… maybe I am doing something right.”

Now let me be honest…

Sharing motherhood is hard sometimes.

There are moments where selfishly, I want my babies with me all the time.

But I also know how important it is for children to feel supported, loved, and connected on all sides.

They say it takes a village, and I truly believe that.

Even if the village doesn’t always look how we pictured it.

So how have I started working through the mom guilt?

By realizing I can’t lose myself in motherhood.

In order for me to fully show up for my children, I also have to show up for myself.

And that meant I had to start prioritizing Momma too.

I started taking myself on solo dates.

And since I’m single, I decided to stop waiting for someone else to create experiences for me that I could create for myself.

So now?

I’m doing the things I always wanted someone else to do with me… and honestly, it’s been healing.

Because these moments give me more than just something to do.

They give me:
Peace.
Creativity.
Softness.
Adventure.
Confidence.
Identity outside of motherhood.
And emotional connection with myself.

Solo Date Ideas

Candlelight dinner
Weekend getaway
Spa day
Picnic
Pottery class
Scrapbook night
Art museum or gallery
Cooking class
Stargazing
Jewelry making
At-home sip and paint
Dance class
Aquarium
Fruit picking
Facial appointment
Comedy show
Wine tasting
Opera or play
Yoga class
Tie-dye night
ATV riding
Vision board night
Movie date
Botanical gardens
Farmers market
Horseback riding
Nature journaling walk
Letter writing
Open mic night
Rooftop restaurant or bar
Zoo trip
Zip lining
5K walk or run

These are just a few things that personally bring me joy.

But honestly?

Get to know yourself again.

Try something new just because you can.

Go to community events. Explore local experiences. Find hobbies that make you feel alive outside of just being “Mom.”

And don’t be afraid to ask for help finding ideas either.

Shoot… even ask ChatGPT for recommendations based on your interests.

Some dates can be budget friendly. Some may take planning. But regardless of what it looks like, take that time for yourself, Momma.

You deserve joy too.

And remember:

You are doing better than you think you are.

With love,
Momma Riah 💜