One thing I’ve really been struggling with this week is the guilt that came after falling into temptation.

I feel like it created distance between God and me, and honestly, I’ve been struggling trying to restore that connection.

I kept asking myself:
“How do I get back?”

And one of the biggest things I feel called to do right now is read the book of John so I can truly understand who Jesus is.

Because if I’m honest, I’m a baby Christian.

I know I believe in Him.
I know He was crucified and rose again on the third day.

But outside of that?

I realized I didn’t really know Him the way I wanted to.

So this week, I made a decision.

Instead of sitting in shame and dwelling on my sin, I’m going to read, listen, pray, and intentionally get to know God for myself.

Because even throughout my entire life—through every mistake, every wrong turn, every season where I ignored Him—God has still shown me grace.

And I don’t want to take advantage of that grace anymore.

I want obedience.

I want relationship.

I want understanding.

And while trying to reconnect with God, He also gave me something else this week that I didn’t realize I needed so badly:

community.

I had the opportunity to attend a women’s life group, and honestly, I mostly sat there as a spectator. Quiet. Listening. Taking it all in.

But so many things spoke directly to me.

It reminded me that no matter where someone is in life, no matter their status, success, appearance, or season—we are all carrying something.

Everyone is fighting battles people can’t fully see.

Some of the women talked about longing for partnership.
Some struggled with impatience.
Some wanted career changes.
Some were battling financial stress.
Some wanted the finished product without wanting to go through the process to get there.

And as I listened, I realized…

A lot of those same struggles live inside me too.

That mental battle? Sometimes it’s daily.

But what stood out to me most was this:

Even in their struggles, they found comfort in God and in community.

And I think that’s what touched me the deepest.

Because for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was starting to find my people.

People who are walking with Christ but are still honest about their struggles.

People who are growing, healing, learning, and trying again.

People who make space for grace and accountability at the same time.

And I think finding that kind of community has helped me realize I’m not meant to do this walk alone.

I truly feel like this is only the beginning of something bigger than I can even imagine right now.

A deeper relationship with God.
A stronger version of myself.
A healthier community.
A different kind of life.

And even though I don’t fully know where God is leading me yet…

I trust Him enough to follow.