Month: May 2026

Rethinking Growth at Work: A Lesson from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

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As I sat there looking at our engagement survey, I felt a mix of things:

  1. Are they really going to look into this?
  2. I don’t even know what to put.

So I did what most people probably do—I gave neutral answers. Nothing too strong, nothing too detailed… just enough to move through it.

But later, I realized I missed an opportunity.

Not because the survey wasn’t important—but because I hadn’t taken the time to truly understand my own needs in the workplace.

The Concept I Forgot to Apply

One concept I’ve learned before—but didn’t apply in that moment—is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

At its core, it breaks down human needs into five levels:

  1. Physiological needs – basic comfort and accessibility
  2. Safety – physical and emotional security
  3. Love & belonging – feeling connected and included
  4. Esteem – recognition, confidence, and value
  5. Self-actualization – reaching your full potential

Looking back, I realized I hadn’t paused to evaluate how my role aligned with these needs—or how I was showing up within them.

Where the Shift Happens

It’s easy to look at a job and ask:

👉 “Is this enough?”

But a better question is:

👉 “How does this role support my needs—and how am I contributing within that?”

Because growth isn’t just about the company meeting expectations.
It’s also about understanding what you need to show up fully.

Questions Worth Asking Yourself

If you’re evaluating your current role—or considering a new one—start here:

1.

What do I need to feel comfortable day-to-day?

Think about your environment:

  • Is it supportive of your basic needs?
  • Do you feel physically and mentally able to do your work well?

2.

What helps me feel like I belong?

  • Do you value connection with your team?
  • Do you prefer collaboration or independence?

3.

How do I define meaningful recognition?

  • Do you feel fulfilled by your contributions?
  • What kind of acknowledgment motivates you?

4.

What does support look like for me?

  • How do you recharge mentally?
  • What kind of environment helps you stay balanced?

5.

What does growth look like for me?

  • What skills do you want to build?
  • What challenges help you move forward?

The Reality Most People Skip

Understanding your needs is just as important as understanding the role itself.

Because when your needs aren’t aligned:

  • Motivation drops
  • Burnout increases
  • Growth feels forced instead of natural

And over time, that doesn’t just impact your work—it can carry into your personal life too.

Final Thought

Before assuming a role isn’t fulfilling—or jumping to the next opportunity—take a step back and evaluate:

👉 Do I fully understand what I need?
👉 Am I showing up in alignment with that?

Because clarity changes everything.

When you understand your needs, you don’t just work—you grow with intention.

Source

This reflection is inspired by general principles from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a widely recognized framework for understanding human motivation.

When Co-Parenting Gets Hard: Choosing Peace Over Control

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There’s something about sitting in a courtroom for a custody hearing that you can’t really prepare for.

It’s heavy.

I remember thinking… how did we get here?
How did communication between two people who share a child end up needing structure from the court system?

Over time, things can shift miscommunication, different perspectives, unresolved issues. And sometimes, the most peaceful way forward is allowing a neutral system to help create clarity.

Not because anyone “wins”… but because the child deserves stability.

Still, that doesn’t make it easy.

Sitting in that courtroom as a parent especially as a mom can feel overwhelming. Even when you have support, even when you have a village… there are moments where it feels like you’re carrying it alone.

And that feeling is real.

In another situation, I’ve also experienced what it looks like to have co-parenting conversations outside of court.

And I’ll be honest there are pros and challenges to both.

When things are handled outside of court, it requires a high level of communication, respect, and a shared focus on the child. When both parents are aligned in that way, it can create flexibility and cooperation that really benefits everyone.

But when that alignment isn’t fully there, structure can become necessary.

And that’s where the court can provide consistency clear expectations, defined schedules, and stability for the child, regardless of emotions.

A personal moment that shifted my perspective:

When I sat down with my youngest daughter’s father to talk through our parenting schedule, I went into the conversation expecting it to be difficult.

There was a moment of tension early on that made me think it could go in that direction.

But before reacting, I took a breath, stayed grounded, and kept the focus on our baby girl.

What I found was that when I approached the conversation with calmness and intention, it shifted everything. We were able to communicate, find common ground, and build a foundation for co-parenting that felt respectful and centered around her.

And I truly believe it can continue that way as long as we both stay focused on making decisions that serve our child first.

Co-parenting works best when the focus shifts from control to the child.

Something I’ve learned through all of this is that co-parenting doesn’t always look the same.

Sometimes it looks like strong teamwork.

And sometimes it looks more like parallel parenting where each parent creates a healthy, stable environment on their own time, in their own space.

And while that may not be the picture we once imagined…

It can still be effective.

It can still be healthy.

And most importantly it can still serve the child well.

So what do you do if you find yourself navigating co-parenting in any form?

My biggest piece of advice is this:

Keep the focus on your child.

Not the past.
Not the disagreements.
Not what the other parent is doing.

Just the child.

There will be moments where emotions come up and that’s natural.

But learning how to process those emotions in a healthy way, without letting them drive your decisions, is what makes the biggest difference.

For me, that looks like praying and releasing what I can’t control, finding healthy outlets to reset emotionally, and intentionally creating positive, loving moments with my kids.

Because at the end of the day…

That’s what they will remember.

I’ve also had to come to terms with something that isn’t always easy to accept:

Sometimes, the family dynamic we once hoped for doesn’t unfold the way we imagined.

And that can be hard.

But what is always within your control is how you show up as a parent.

The love you give.
The stability you create.
The environment you build.

And while you’re doing all of that…

Don’t forget about yourself.

Your healing matters.
Your peace matters.
Your growth matters.

Because the healthier you are emotionally, mentally, spiritually the better you’re able to show up for your children.

So give yourself grace.

Build your support system.

Stay grounded in what truly matters.

And keep showing up with love.

With love
Momma Riah 💜

The Journey of Self-Love and Growth

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Faith

If I’m being honest, I feel like God has been redirecting my entire life.

Not in a small way… in a tear-it-down-and-rebuild-it kind of way.

I’ve felt called to share my story to be open, to build community, to speak on the things people don’t always say out loud. I don’t fully know what that looks like yet, but I do know this: obedience comes before clarity.

So I started where I could.

I shared my truth.

And in doing that, I stepped into the beginning of a life that feels different. Fuller. Lighter. More aligned. A life that I now recognize as being shaped by God’s will not just my own.

Because the truth is, before this, my thoughts, my actions, and my decisions were rooted in fear, grief, and pain. I was stuck there longer than I want to admit. It felt like I couldn’t move forward no matter how hard I tried.

But the moment I truly opened my heart to the Lord not halfway, not when it was convenient, but fully everything shifted.

It felt like I was offered a new life.

Now I’m learning to listen. To move when He says move. To trust even when I don’t understand.

And in such a short time, I’ve experienced a level of peace, joy, and clarity that I didn’t even know I was missing.

This season I’m in is not punishment. It’s preparation.

God is teaching me obedience. He’s building me. Positioning me.

I’m not behind. I’m being prepared.

And once I surrendered those heavy things I was carrying, He showed up. Over and over again.

I am blessed.

Healing

Let me be clear I am not fully healed.

My heart still aches sometimes.
My thoughts aren’t always positive.
My body still leans toward comfort over discipline.
I still have moments where I react instead of respond.

But I’m not who I used to be either.

And that matters.

I’m a work in progress and for the first time, I’m okay with that. Because now, I want better for myself. I’m choosing better.

There was a point where I thought my heart was becoming cold from disappointment. But now I see I still have so much love to give. To my kids. To myself. To others even when it’s hard.

And then there was a moment that made me realize just how much had already changed.

I was sitting in my living room, scrolling TikTok, while my girls were in the background laughing, playing, just being kids.

A video came across my feed from a creator I keep seeing the kind that always says something that hits right when you need it. And she was talking about what it feels like when things finally start working out.

And something about that made me pause.

I looked up.

I really looked.

My girls were giggling, completely at peace.
We were in a safe, stable home.
There was no chaos in that moment. No fear. No pressure.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt full.

Not distracted.
Not surviving.
Not just getting through it.

I felt like I was actually loving my life.

And that realization hit me hard.

Because if you would have asked me maybe 20 days before that if I loved my life, I would have said yes without hesitation. I thought what I had was enough. I appreciated it.

But truly loving my life feeling it I didn’t have that.

I loved the people in my life, but I hadn’t learned how to love my own life.

That moment changed something in me.

Not because everything was perfect, but because I was finally present enough to see what God had already done.

That peace I felt, that fullness, that was confirmation.

That I’m on the right path.
That I’m moving toward something greater.
That abundance isn’t just coming it’s already starting.

And all it took was slowing down long enough to hear my girls laugh.

What Healing Looks Like for Me Right Now

Healing didn’t start with a big breakthrough.

It started with a promise to love myself the way I’ve loved others.

So I started showing up for me.

I buy myself flowers because I deserve beauty in my life.
I go to the gym because I want to feel strong and healthy.
I changed my eating habits because what I put in my body matters.
I journal and write because my mind deserves clarity.
I limit mindless scrolling and choose things that feed me instead of drain me.
I speak life over myself and challenge negative thoughts when they come.
I take my medication because my health matters.
I changed what I listen to because what I hear affects my spirit.
I invest in my growth, personally and professionally.
I spend intentional time with my kids creating moments, not just passing time.

And the biggest shift:

I stopped making excuses.

I stopped waiting.

I started living the life I know I deserve.

Growth

Let’s not get it twisted I am not perfect.

I still have a lot to work on. A lot to learn. A lot to unlearn.

But I can see the difference.

And that’s what keeps me going.

In such a short time, my life has become fuller, more intentional, more aligned. And honestly, it makes me wonder why I didn’t start sooner.

But I also know I wasn’t ready then.

Growth requires readiness. And now, I am.

My growth is rooted in two things: my relationship with God and my willingness to understand myself.

I’m learning who I really am.
Not the broken version. Not the survival version.
The whole version.

And she’s still becoming.

I don’t have a perfect picture of the woman I’m growing into yet, but I’m excited to meet her.

Because every day, I’m building her.

Piece by piece.

And I’m grateful because even when I didn’t choose God, He never stopped choosing me.

If you want to go deeper into my journey, I share more in my book Beautiful Shambles, where I open up about the lessons, the breaking points, and the rebuilding.

So stay with me.

Be part of this journey.

We can grow together. Hold each other accountable. Become better together.

Because you deserve peace too.

With love,
Mariah 💜