As a single mom, something I wrestle with is this question:

How do I make sure my babies have a strong foundation when God designed fathers to play such an important role in a child’s life?

Even when fathers are involved from separate households, I still find myself wondering if I’m giving my girls everything they need to feel safe, secure, and grounded.

Truthfully, I think part of that struggle comes from my own childhood.

There were cracks in my sense of safety growing up. Not physical safety, but emotional safety. There were moments where things felt uncertain, and because of that, I sometimes question whether I’m showing up the right way for my daughters.

My girls are physically safe.

They are loved.

They are cared for.

They seem emotionally healthy.

But sometimes I still wonder if I’m missing something.

For example, my oldest daughter absolutely hates anything dirty. If something gets on her hands, she’s cleaning it off immediately.

One of her chores is putting away clean dishes and loading dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

Simple enough, right?

Not exactly.

Most days it comes with an attitude.

An eye roll.

A sigh.

A dramatic walk to the kitchen.

A complaint or two.

And every time it happens, I find myself wondering if I’m handling it correctly.

I explain that responsibilities don’t disappear just because we don’t feel like doing them. There are plenty of things I don’t want to do in life, but I still have to show up and fulfill my responsibilities.

Sometimes that conversation ends with a “Yes ma’am.”

Sometimes it ends with tears.

Sometimes it ends with tension.

And afterward, I find myself questioning my leadership.

Am I teaching responsibility?

Or am I missing an opportunity to shape something deeper?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe my concern isn’t really about the dishes.

Maybe it’s about wanting my daughters to have a stronger foundation than I had.

I want them to know who they are.

I want them to know they belong.

I want them to know they are loved, valued, and capable.

I want them to have the confidence to walk through this world knowing exactly whose they are.

And that’s where I realized something important.

While I can’t provide everything on my own, I don’t have to.

God never asked me to be everything.

He asked me to trust Him.

Because what God can provide for my daughters is greater than what any earthly parent can provide on their own.

His love is constant.

His protection is constant.

His guidance is constant.

And while I may not always have all the answers, I can point my girls toward the One who does.

So maybe the answer isn’t trying to fill every gap perfectly.

Maybe the answer is inviting God into our home more intentionally.

More conversations about faith.

More prayer together.

More teaching them who God says they are.

More reminders that their identity isn’t found in what they do, how they perform, or what other people think.

Their identity is found in Him.

And maybe that’s the strongest foundation I can give them.

Not a perfect mother.

Not a perfect home.

But a home that points them toward a perfect God.

With love,

Momma Riah 💜