Lately, I’ve been asking myself a question that has been weighing pretty heavily on me.

Why is it so easy for me to show up for everyone I love, but so difficult to show up for myself?

These past few weeks, I’ve noticed that my wants, needs, and personal goals have slowly found their way to the back burner.

Not necessarily because anyone has asked me to put them there, but because I naturally want to show up for the people I love.

I want to be a present mother.

I want to be an intentional partner.

I want to be dependable.

I want the people in my life to feel loved, supported, and cared for.

And while I genuinely enjoy doing those things, I’ve started noticing something.

Somewhere in the middle of loving everybody else, I’ve been forgetting to make room for me.

Motherhood: The Beautiful Sacrifice

As a mother, I think other moms can relate when I say our children’s needs almost always come first.

And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way when it comes to making sure my girls are loved, safe, and cared for.

But sometimes, even when their needs are met, I continue putting my own wants aside.

For example, there are moments when I could be reading a book, writing, or doing something that contributes to my personal growth.

But instead, I find myself sitting on the floor while my girls play in my hair, do my makeup, or turn me into whatever masterpiece they’ve imagined that day.

And honey, sometimes that masterpiece is questionable!

But those moments mean something to me.

I want my daughters to remember a mother who was present.

A mother who laughed with them.

A mother who made time for the little things.

A mother who created memories they can carry into adulthood.

So I don’t necessarily regret choosing those moments.

But I’ve started realizing that I shouldn’t always have to choose between making memories with my children and making time for myself.

I can be a good mother and still have needs of my own.

And maybe that’s something I need to remind myself of more often.

Learning to Love Without Losing My Routine

Another adjustment I’ve been navigating is being in a relationship again.

And let me tell you, learning how to balance your individual life with a relationship after being single is an adjustment!

I love being able to spend time with my partner.

I enjoy showing up for him, being intentional, and making sure we’re creating quality time together.

But I’ve noticed that sometimes, in my excitement to spend time with him, I begin rearranging my own priorities.

Before getting back into a relationship, I had started building habits that were important to me.

I was walking two or three times a week.

I was making more time for writing.

I was learning how to enjoy my own company and invest in the woman I was becoming.

Now, instead of taking that walk, I sometimes find myself wanting to spend that time with my man.

And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be around someone you love, I’ve had to ask myself:

Why do I automatically assume that loving someone means adjusting my time instead of making room for both of us?

Because the truth is, I don’t want to lose the woman I’ve been working so hard to become simply because my relationship status has changed.

I want to continue growing as an individual while also growing with my partner.

I want a relationship that complements the life I’m building, not one where I unintentionally stop building it.

And that requires me to be intentional about how I spend my time.

The Part That Has Been Weighing on Me the Most: My Faith

Now, this is the part that has really been bothering me.

Of all the things I’ve allowed to fall behind lately, my relationship with God has been the hardest for me to acknowledge.

I haven’t been reading the Word consistently.

My prayer life hasn’t been as intentional.

I haven’t been attending church the way I want to.

And honestly, I can feel the difference.

I’ve allowed the distractions and responsibilities of everyday life to take up so much space that I’ve been neglecting the very relationship that helped me begin this journey of healing and growth.

And that doesn’t sit right with me.

Because I’ve experienced what life feels like when I’m intentionally seeking God.

I’ve experienced the peace.

The joy.

The clarity.

The comfort of knowing that even when I don’t have everything figured out, I can turn to Him.

So when I notice myself drifting away from those habits, I begin feeling guilty.

And I ask myself:

How can I make time for everyone else but struggle to make time for God?

The One I say comes first.

The One I turn to when life becomes overwhelming.

The One who has carried me through seasons I didn’t think I would make it through.

But I’m also learning that guilt alone isn’t going to restore my routine.

I have to make the decision to show up.

Even if it’s only ten minutes of reading.

Even if it’s a prayer while driving.

Even if I have to adjust my schedule to make church a priority again.

I don’t want my relationship with God to become something I only make time for when everything else is taken care of.

Because if I’m waiting for life to slow down before I prioritize my faith, I may be waiting forever.

Pouring From a Cup I Keep Forgetting to Fill

Something else I’ve noticed is how my mood changes when I stop doing the things that make me feel like myself.

I become overwhelmed more easily.

I get frustrated.

I feel guilty.

And sometimes, I’m just plain irritable.

Then I sit there wondering why I’m feeling this way.

Well, honey, maybe it’s because I’ve been pouring into everybody else’s cup while forgetting to fill my own!

I’ve been giving my time, energy, love, and attention to the people who matter most to me.

But I’ve neglected some of the things that bring me peace and fulfillment.

Writing.

Reading.

Exercising.

Spending intentional time with God.

Having moments to myself without feeling like I should be doing something for somebody else.

And I’m beginning to understand that those things aren’t just hobbies or tasks on a to-do list.

They’re part of how I care for myself.

They’re part of how I process my emotions, strengthen my faith, and continue growing.

And when I consistently neglect them, I feel it.

Trying to Find My Balance Again

Now, I wish I could tell you I’ve figured out the perfect routine that allows me to do everything I want while showing up for everyone I love.

But baby, I haven’t.

I’m still figuring it out.

One thing I’ve started doing is setting reminders on my phone throughout the day.

Little notifications encouraging me to write, read, exercise, or take time for the things I say are important.

And honestly, some of them have helped.

I’ve been writing more consistently.

But others?

Let’s just say I’ve gotten pretty good at dismissing a workout reminder!

I’ve realized that certain activities are more enjoyable for me when I can do them alone.

I like having time to myself when I exercise.

I like being able to read without interruptions.

I like having moments where I can fully experience what I’m doing without feeling pulled in multiple directions.

And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting that.

I just have to become better at creating space for it.

Maybe that means waking up a little earlier.

Maybe that means communicating with my partner about time I need for myself.

Maybe that means allowing my daughters to see me reading or writing instead of always putting those activities away.

Maybe it means accepting that every day won’t look the same, and that’s okay.

Because I’m realizing that balance isn’t necessarily about giving everything equal time.

It’s about making sure the things that matter most aren’t consistently getting the least of me.

Giving Myself Grace While Still Holding Myself Accountable

One thing this journey continues to teach me is that I can be incredibly hard on myself.

When I don’t accomplish everything I planned, I feel like I’ve failed.

When my routine falls apart, I feel like I’m starting over.

When I neglect my personal goals, I begin questioning whether I’m truly becoming the woman I want to be.

But I’m trying to change that mindset.

I’m learning to celebrate the small wins.

If I write for fifteen minutes instead of an hour, that’s still progress.

If I take a walk once this week instead of three times, that’s still movement.

If I read one chapter of my Bible after days of neglecting it, that’s still an opportunity to reconnect.

And if I spend an evening laughing with my daughters instead of completing everything on my to-do list, that doesn’t automatically mean I wasted my time.

I created memories.

I showed love.

I was present.

And those things matter too.

But I also have to remember that giving myself grace doesn’t mean continuously putting myself last.

It means acknowledging where I am, making adjustments, and continuing to show up.

I Deserve the Love I Give So Freely

I think the biggest lesson I’m learning in this season is that I don’t have to choose between loving others and loving myself.

I can be a present mother and still prioritize my personal growth.

I can be a loving partner and still maintain my individuality.

I can be committed to my responsibilities and still make time for rest.

I can have a busy life and still make room for God.

And I can love the people in my life deeply without feeling guilty for needing time to pour into myself.

Because the woman I’m becoming deserves my effort too.

She deserves consistency.

She deserves peace.

She deserves intentionality.

She deserves the same love, attention, and care that I work so hard to give everyone else.

So this week, I’m challenging myself to stop treating my personal needs like optional tasks.

I’m going to make room for them.

Not perfectly.

Not without adjustments.

But intentionally.

And if you’re someone who constantly shows up for everyone else while quietly neglecting yourself, I want to leave you with this reminder:

You deserve to experience the same love and care that you give so freely to others.

You don’t have to earn time for yourself by making sure everybody else is satisfied first.

You matter too.

And honey, sometimes the person who needs you to show up the most is the one looking back at you in the mirror.

With love,

Mariah 💜