Author: Balanced and Becoming

Balanced and Becoming https://chitchatwithmariah.wordpress.com Mariah’s Balanced Life is where motherhood meets healing, growth, and real-life balance. It’s for the woman learning how to pour into her kids without losing herself—choosing peace, purpose, and progress over perfection.
Seven women sitting in a circle holding hands in a living room with a lit candle and tea cups on the table

Finding Community and Grace in Your Faith Journey

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One thing I’ve really been struggling with this week is the guilt that came after falling into temptation.

I feel like it created distance between God and me, and honestly, I’ve been struggling trying to restore that connection.

I kept asking myself:
“How do I get back?”

And one of the biggest things I feel called to do right now is read the book of John so I can truly understand who Jesus is.

Because if I’m honest, I’m a baby Christian.

I know I believe in Him.
I know He was crucified and rose again on the third day.

But outside of that?

I realized I didn’t really know Him the way I wanted to.

So this week, I made a decision.

Instead of sitting in shame and dwelling on my sin, I’m going to read, listen, pray, and intentionally get to know God for myself.

Because even throughout my entire life—through every mistake, every wrong turn, every season where I ignored Him—God has still shown me grace.

And I don’t want to take advantage of that grace anymore.

I want obedience.

I want relationship.

I want understanding.

And while trying to reconnect with God, He also gave me something else this week that I didn’t realize I needed so badly:

community.

I had the opportunity to attend a women’s life group, and honestly, I mostly sat there as a spectator. Quiet. Listening. Taking it all in.

But so many things spoke directly to me.

It reminded me that no matter where someone is in life, no matter their status, success, appearance, or season—we are all carrying something.

Everyone is fighting battles people can’t fully see.

Some of the women talked about longing for partnership.
Some struggled with impatience.
Some wanted career changes.
Some were battling financial stress.
Some wanted the finished product without wanting to go through the process to get there.

And as I listened, I realized…

A lot of those same struggles live inside me too.

That mental battle? Sometimes it’s daily.

But what stood out to me most was this:

Even in their struggles, they found comfort in God and in community.

And I think that’s what touched me the deepest.

Because for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was starting to find my people.

People who are walking with Christ but are still honest about their struggles.

People who are growing, healing, learning, and trying again.

People who make space for grace and accountability at the same time.

And I think finding that kind of community has helped me realize I’m not meant to do this walk alone.

I truly feel like this is only the beginning of something bigger than I can even imagine right now.

A deeper relationship with God.
A stronger version of myself.
A healthier community.
A different kind of life.

And even though I don’t fully know where God is leading me yet…

I trust Him enough to follow.

Hands planting glowing seeds in office floor soil

How I Started Taking My Career Seriously

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My career has always been important to me.

I finally got the opportunity to work in the field I wanted—healthcare corporate—for a company I genuinely admired. At first, I was excited just to be there. I had accomplished something I worked hard for.

But after about a year and a half, something shifted.

I knew my role well enough to feel confident in it, but I also started feeling stuck. I wanted to contribute more. I wanted to grow beyond my current position and make a larger impact on the people and processes connected to the work we do.

So I started applying for other opportunities.

And when rejection after rejection came back, I got discouraged.

When Confidence Turns Into Autopilot

At some point, I started questioning everything.

I remember thinking:
What’s the point?

I had the degrees.
I had a certification that felt valuable and relevant.
On paper, I looked qualified.

So what was I missing?

Honestly, I didn’t know.

And because I didn’t know, I stopped trying as hard as I should have.

For another year and a half, I moved through work on autopilot. I showed up, completed my responsibilities, and did enough to get by—but I wasn’t intentionally growing. Sometimes I even fell short there.

The roles I dreamed about were in supply chain, process improvement, and change management. But the truth was… I wasn’t actively applying those concepts within my current environment.

I wanted growth without fully practicing it where I already was.

The Moment Things Started Changing

What really changed my perspective was unexpectedly simple:

Training new hires.

As I started helping onboard and train others, I realized something uncomfortable—I didn’t like the way I foundational knowledge was being communicated. The training I was giving felt scattered, inconsistent, and difficult to follow.

And honestly, I knew it could be better.

So instead of just noticing the issue and moving on, I started thinking deeper about solutions.

I talked with coworkers, reflected on my own experience when I first started, and began working on the idea of creating a more structured foundational training process for our team.

It’s still a work in progress, but something about that shift reignited me professionally.

For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t just thinking about the next position—I was thinking about how to create value where I already was.

What I Realized

As I started developing ideas and thinking through improvements, I found myself pulling from:

  • previous roles
  • school experiences
  • certifications
  • professional concepts I had learned but never fully applied

And suddenly all the things I thought were “missing” weren’t actually missing at all.

I just wasn’t using them intentionally.

That realization changed everything for me.

Rejection Isn’t Always Redirection—Sometimes It’s Preparation

I used to look at rejection as proof that I wasn’t ready.

Now I look at it differently.

Sometimes rejection reveals where you still need to grow—not just in credentials, but in contribution, initiative, confidence, and application.

Instead of dwelling on the roles I didn’t get, I started asking:

How can I show up differently where I am right now?

 What value can I create today that aligns with where I want to go tomorrow?

That mindset shift helped me stop waiting for growth and start practicing it daily.

Final Thought

If you feel discouraged professionally, don’t let rejection convince you to disconnect from your potential.

Instead:

  • Invest in skills you can apply now
  • Look for opportunities to improve processes around you
  • Contribute beyond your basic responsibilities
  • Practice the mindset and behaviors required for the role you want before you get there

Because sometimes the biggest shift in your career starts when you stop focusing only on the next opportunity… and start becoming intentional where you already are.

Kitchen countertop cluttered with dirty dishes, utensils, and cups with a laundry basket full of clothes on the floor

Mom Monday — The Guilt of “Lazy” Mom Nights

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Something I’ve been struggling with lately is wanting to cook my kids decent meals every single night.

And honestly?

Sometimes I’m just tired.

Like mentally, emotionally, physically… I just do not have the capacity to do it.

For my youngest, it’s a little easier. I can grab those little food trays, season them up a bit, and my baby girl will DEVOUR them. She’s happy, fed, and living her best life.

Now my oldest?

My picky babygirl is a whole different story.

She definitely likes her meals cooked fresh, and lately she has been obsessed with chicken fried rice. I swear it’s her favorite meal right now because I’m making it at least once a week when she comes back from her dad’s house.

But what about those nights when I don’t want to cook?

The nights where I’m like:
“Okay… it’s leftover night.”
Or:
“Find something in the cabinet and heat it up, baby.”

And when those moments happen, I feel guilty.

Not because my kids aren’t taken care of—but because I put pressure on myself to constantly do everything at full capacity.

Meanwhile, I’m still running around getting everyone ready for bed, cleaning up, mentally preparing for the next day, or just trying to take five minutes to reset my own mind.

I be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to do it all.

I say all this to say:

I am not a perfect, five-star mom.

My kids are loved.
My kids are cared for.
My kids are safe.

But honey… I absolutely have my reset moments.

And truthfully?

Sometimes those moments are necessary so I can show up better the next day.

Do I still feel guilt sometimes? Yes.

But there is nothing in my home that is going to harm my children because I chose rest over cooking a full meal one night.

It just may not be exactly what they wanted that day.

And that’s okay.

I think as moms we try way too hard to be perfect.

But our kids also need to see healthy imperfection.

They need to know it’s okay to slow down sometimes.
It’s okay to rest.
It’s okay to not always operate at 100%.

Life still moves forward.

The house still functions.

And love is still present.

Honestly, I even need that reminder myself.

One thing I do think could help me is prepping little freezer trays of my oldest daughter’s favorite meals for those nights when I truly don’t feel like cooking.

Not because I’m failing…

But because I’m learning how to work with myself instead of constantly running myself into the ground trying to meet unrealistic expectations.

At the end of the day, we love these little gremlins with everything in us.

And sometimes I just have to remind myself:

I am doing my best.

And as long as my girls are happy, healthy, loved, and cared for…

Then I did my job for the day.

With love,
Momma Riah 💜

Dirt path through grassy meadow with wildflowers at sunrise and mist

Navigating Emotion and Faith in Tough Times

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This week has been rough.

And honestly, I debated even sharing this because vulnerability is easy when you’re winning. It’s harder when you feel like you disappointed yourself… and God.

It started last weekend at my youngest daughter’s first birthday party. A moment that was supposed to be full of happiness because my baby girl is officially one.

And eventually, I got there.

But before I did, I had three separate breakdowns.

Not quiet tears either. I’m talking full boo-hoo ugly crying.

I kept disappearing—going upstairs to my apartment, hiding in the bathroom lobby, trying to pull myself together before anyone noticed. But the truth is, people always notice when your heart is heavy.

A few people checked on me, and I appreciated it, but honestly… I just needed a moment to feel everything.

Because in the middle of celebrating my daughter, I was grieving too.

Grieving the life I thought I would have.
The family dynamic I imagined.
The hurt I still carry.
The reality of being a single mom sometimes.

And it all hit me at once.

But strangely enough, that wasn’t even the hardest part of the week.

The hardest part came after.

After the party, I broke a promise I made not only to myself—but to God.

More than once.

I gave into the wants of my flesh instead of standing firm in what I knew I was being called away from. And since then, it has felt like an emotional battle in every area of my life.

Before that, I felt deeply connected to God.

I felt His presence heavily.

I was at peace.
I had joy.
I felt clarity.
I was showing up better for myself and for others.

And after falling into temptation, it felt like everything became cloudy again.

Confusion came back.
Restlessness came back.
Emotional exhaustion came back.

And I’ve been struggling with the feeling that maybe I don’t deserve to come back to Him.

Like maybe God doesn’t want to hear from me because I knowingly made the wrong choice.

But the beautiful thing about God is that He is not human.

Because if I’m honest? There are moments where I wouldn’t even forgive myself.

Yet somehow, even in my distance, I still feel Him near me.

Not in the same overwhelming way as before—but enough to remind me He never truly left.

And maybe this season isn’t God abandoning me.

Maybe it’s Him allowing me to decide if I will still obey Him when it’s harder. When emotions are louder. When temptation feels stronger. When conviction sets in.

Because over and over again this week, I’ve heard the same messages repeated through friends, family, strangers, my therapist—even random conversations.

“God will not send you who or what you’re supposed to have before you heal and release what’s not for you.”

“God is not a God of confusion. So if confusion is present, maybe that’s your confirmation.”

And those words keep replaying in my mind.

Maybe I don’t just need to hear them.

Maybe I need to finally stand on them.

Because the truth is, I’m not okay right now.

I feel emotionally drained. Confused. Disappointed in myself.

But even through all of that…

I still have hope.

Hope that peace will return.
Hope that healing is still possible.
Hope that God is still guiding me even while I’m struggling.

And maybe growth isn’t about never falling.

Maybe it’s about realizing quicker when you’ve stepped off the path—and choosing to come back anyway.

So that’s what I’m doing.

Coming back.

One prayer at a time.

Glowing green plant sprouting from dry cracked ground with swirling colorful mist around it

Building a Better Routine When Life Feels Chaotic

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There was a point where life felt like nothing but survival mode.

I was doing the bare minimum everywhere—not because I didn’t care, but because I felt stretched thin in every direction. I was working, parenting, handling responsibilities, and constantly reacting to whatever life threw at me next. I told myself I didn’t have time to intentionally grow in other areas of my life.

But honestly? That excuse stopped making sense.

As a single mom working two full-time jobs, I had to realize something important:

I may not control how chaotic life gets, but I can control how intentional I am with the time I do have.

The Truth About “Free Time”

Free time as a working mom almost feels nonexistent.

No matter what shift you work or how organized you try to be, there is always something that needs your attention. Someone needs you. Something needs to get done. And on top of that, most of us are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

For me, my coping mechanism became scrolling social media anytime I had a moment to breathe.

And while it felt like “rest,” it usually left me feeling worse.

Mindless scrolling turned into mindless snacking.
Mindless snacking turned into laziness.
And suddenly every break became recovery mode instead of an opportunity to pour back into myself.

I wasn’t intentionally growing—I was just trying to get through the day.

The Shift That Changed Everything

Things started changing when I stopped waiting for life to calm down before investing in myself.

I began using my work breaks intentionally.

Instead of spending every free moment scrolling, I started:

  • Listening to professional development podcasts
  • Watching YouTube videos about skills related to future roles I’m interested in
  • Researching certifications and growth opportunities
  • Working on projects that could add value to my team
  • Writing and brainstorming ideas

I separated my daily responsibilities from my future growth goals.

That shift mattered.

Because instead of only surviving my current situation, I started preparing for where I wanted to go next.

Small Steps Still Count

One thing I had to learn was to stop obsessing over the end goal.

I tend to see the bigger picture and want to jump straight there. But growth doesn’t work like that. The journey matters too.

So instead of trying to completely overhaul my life overnight, I made one promise to myself:

At minimum, I would dedicate 30 intentional minutes a day toward becoming a better version of myself.

Some days it looked like studying.
Some days it looked like writing.
Some days it was simply listening to a development video while eating lunch.

But I stayed intentional.

And honestly, even if you only have 15 minutes a day, that still adds up to over 90 hours a year spent investing into yourself.

That matters.

Stop Waiting for Life to Slow Down

Life may never fully calm down.

There will always be responsibilities, stress, exhaustion, and unexpected moments. But if you keep waiting for the “perfect time” to invest in yourself, you may end up waiting forever.

Create intentional moments anyway.

Protect your time.
Protect your growth.
Protect the version of yourself you’re trying to become.

I’m still growing. I’m still learning. I’m still building. But I stopped waiting for life to feel easy before deciding I was worth the effort.

Recommendations for Intentional Growth

  • Search YouTube for skills related to your dream role
  • Invest in learning platforms like Udemy or LinkedIn Learning
  • Read articles, books, and industry content regularly
  • Research your future role and start applying those skills where you are now
  • Use small pockets of time intentionally instead of waiting for large amounts of free time
  • Invest in my development journal on Amazon for professional development

Final Thought

Routine doesn’t remove chaos.

But intentionality helps you grow through it.

And sometimes showing up for yourself consistently in small ways matters more than one big life-changing moment ever will.

Mom Guilt & the Broken Family

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As I lay in bed watching how peacefully my baby girl sleeps, I feel happy and at ease.

But sometimes… that peace gets interrupted by guilt.

If you didn’t know already, I’m a single mom to two beautiful little girls with two different fathers.

And honestly?

That sentence never gets easier to say out loud.

The guilt I was feeling came from the idea that I “picked wrong.” That I chose relationships that didn’t work out the way I once hoped they would.

Now, to be clear, I truly believe co-parenting is what’s best for our situation. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard sometimes.

Watching my less-than-one-year-old leave for her dad’s house can feel bittersweet.

Yes, I get a break.

But a huge part of who I am is tied to hearing little feet running around, random giggles, toys all over the floor, and tiny voices yelling “Mommy.”

So when the house gets quiet…

It feels quiet.

I had to remind myself that just because life didn’t turn out exactly how I imagined doesn’t mean it turned out bad.

My girls are happy.

They are loved deeply.

They have what they need and more.

And most importantly, they are able to build relationships with both parents and the people around them who love them.

Honestly, hearing their laughs and seeing their joy helps calm my mind.

It reminds me:
“Okay… maybe I am doing something right.”

Now let me be honest…

Sharing motherhood is hard sometimes.

There are moments where selfishly, I want my babies with me all the time.

But I also know how important it is for children to feel supported, loved, and connected on all sides.

They say it takes a village, and I truly believe that.

Even if the village doesn’t always look how we pictured it.

So how have I started working through the mom guilt?

By realizing I can’t lose myself in motherhood.

In order for me to fully show up for my children, I also have to show up for myself.

And that meant I had to start prioritizing Momma too.

I started taking myself on solo dates.

And since I’m single, I decided to stop waiting for someone else to create experiences for me that I could create for myself.

So now?

I’m doing the things I always wanted someone else to do with me… and honestly, it’s been healing.

Because these moments give me more than just something to do.

They give me:
Peace.
Creativity.
Softness.
Adventure.
Confidence.
Identity outside of motherhood.
And emotional connection with myself.

Solo Date Ideas

Candlelight dinner
Weekend getaway
Spa day
Picnic
Pottery class
Scrapbook night
Art museum or gallery
Cooking class
Stargazing
Jewelry making
At-home sip and paint
Dance class
Aquarium
Fruit picking
Facial appointment
Comedy show
Wine tasting
Opera or play
Yoga class
Tie-dye night
ATV riding
Vision board night
Movie date
Botanical gardens
Farmers market
Horseback riding
Nature journaling walk
Letter writing
Open mic night
Rooftop restaurant or bar
Zoo trip
Zip lining
5K walk or run

These are just a few things that personally bring me joy.

But honestly?

Get to know yourself again.

Try something new just because you can.

Go to community events. Explore local experiences. Find hobbies that make you feel alive outside of just being “Mom.”

And don’t be afraid to ask for help finding ideas either.

Shoot… even ask ChatGPT for recommendations based on your interests.

Some dates can be budget friendly. Some may take planning. But regardless of what it looks like, take that time for yourself, Momma.

You deserve joy too.

And remember:

You are doing better than you think you are.

With love,
Momma Riah 💜

The Night God Answered Me Without Words

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I didn’t expect clarity to come through a dream.

But that’s exactly what happened.

It wasn’t long maybe 15 or 20 minutes but it felt intense. Real. Like I was living inside something bigger than just a dream.

I was in this house.

It was dark. The lighting was off. Everything about it felt wrong heavy, uncomfortable, almost like I wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.

And then I realized…

I had to get out.

It felt like some kind of test like if I could make it out of the house and reach the street, I would be free.

But I wasn’t alone.

Something was chasing me.

I couldn’t see exactly what it was, but I could feel it. The pressure. The fear. The weight of it getting closer behind me.

So I ran.

Not really knowing where I was going. Just moving, trying to escape.

And in that moment, I did the only thing I knew to do.

I prayed.

“Lord, help me. Guide me out of this.”

And instantly… everything shifted.

It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t dramatic.

But I knew He was there.

I started being guidedwhere to turn, where to go, what to do next.

I ran into a closet… and for a second, I felt stuck.

Like this was it.

Like I had nowhere else to go.

And I could hear whatever was chasing me getting closer.

So I prayed again.

“Lord, please help me get out of here.”

And just like that

A trap door appeared.

I dropped down to the first floor, came out through another closet, ran straight out the front door, and made it to the street.

I was free.

And as I was running, I saw a man outside jumping, celebrating, full of joy.

Like he was rooting for me.

Like he knew I was going to make it.

What It Meant

After I woke up, I couldn’t shake it.

Because not long before that, I had been asking myself a question I didn’t know how to answer:

Why am I a Christian?

I heard it preached in church, and it stuck with me… but I didn’t have my own answer.

Until now.

That house?

That was me.

That was the life I created when I was trying to do everything on my own.
Confused. Chaotic. Dark. Feeling stuck in something I didn’t even recognize anymore.

That thing chasing me?

Fear. Anxiety. My past. The consequences of my own decisions. The weight of everything catching up to me.

Running without direction?

That was me trying to fix my life without God.

But the moment I called on Him

He showed up.

Not by removing me instantly, but by guiding me step by step.

Even when I felt stuck.
Even when I thought I had run out of options.

He made a way that I couldn’t see.

That trap door?

That was God doing what only He can do creating an exit where there wasn’t one.

The street?

Freedom. Peace. Safety. A new beginning.

And the man celebrating?

That was confirmation.

Heaven rooting for me.
God showing me that I was never alone in this.

Why I Choose God

So why am I a Christian?

Not because everything in my life is perfect.

Not because I’ve always done the right thing.

But because even when I didn’t listen…
Even when I didn’t deserve it…

God still guided me.

He didn’t control me. He let me make my own choices.
And yes, I ended up in places I had no business being in.

But He never left.

He stayed close like a father should.

Waiting for me to call on Him.

And when I finally did… He led me out.

That dream showed me something I couldn’t fully put into words before:

With God, there is always a way out.

Not always easy. Not always immediate.
But always possible.

The Vision I’m Walking In Now

I’m a Christian because I want a real relationship with God.

Not surface level. Not just when I need something.

I want to know Him.
Understand Him.
Walk with Him.

Because He has been there for me in ways I didn’t even recognize at the time.

He has blessed me when I didn’t deserve it.
Protected me when I didn’t see it.
Guided me when I didn’t listen.

And now that I do see it…

I can’t unsee it.

I don’t love God for what He can give me.

I love Him for who He has been to me.

A father.

A guide.

A protector.

Something I didn’t always have the best example of but something I now understand through Him.

And now?

I want to live a life that reflects that.

A life that is full.
A life that is aligned.
A life that is different from anything I’ve lived before.

Because I truly believe now

The life I’m stepping into…
is the one He’s been trying to lead me to all along.

And for the first time…

I’m not running from it.

I’m running with Him.

Rethinking Growth at Work: A Lesson from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

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As I sat there looking at our engagement survey, I felt a mix of things:

  1. Are they really going to look into this?
  2. I don’t even know what to put.

So I did what most people probably do—I gave neutral answers. Nothing too strong, nothing too detailed… just enough to move through it.

But later, I realized I missed an opportunity.

Not because the survey wasn’t important—but because I hadn’t taken the time to truly understand my own needs in the workplace.

The Concept I Forgot to Apply

One concept I’ve learned before—but didn’t apply in that moment—is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

At its core, it breaks down human needs into five levels:

  1. Physiological needs – basic comfort and accessibility
  2. Safety – physical and emotional security
  3. Love & belonging – feeling connected and included
  4. Esteem – recognition, confidence, and value
  5. Self-actualization – reaching your full potential

Looking back, I realized I hadn’t paused to evaluate how my role aligned with these needs—or how I was showing up within them.

Where the Shift Happens

It’s easy to look at a job and ask:

👉 “Is this enough?”

But a better question is:

👉 “How does this role support my needs—and how am I contributing within that?”

Because growth isn’t just about the company meeting expectations.
It’s also about understanding what you need to show up fully.

Questions Worth Asking Yourself

If you’re evaluating your current role—or considering a new one—start here:

1.

What do I need to feel comfortable day-to-day?

Think about your environment:

  • Is it supportive of your basic needs?
  • Do you feel physically and mentally able to do your work well?

2.

What helps me feel like I belong?

  • Do you value connection with your team?
  • Do you prefer collaboration or independence?

3.

How do I define meaningful recognition?

  • Do you feel fulfilled by your contributions?
  • What kind of acknowledgment motivates you?

4.

What does support look like for me?

  • How do you recharge mentally?
  • What kind of environment helps you stay balanced?

5.

What does growth look like for me?

  • What skills do you want to build?
  • What challenges help you move forward?

The Reality Most People Skip

Understanding your needs is just as important as understanding the role itself.

Because when your needs aren’t aligned:

  • Motivation drops
  • Burnout increases
  • Growth feels forced instead of natural

And over time, that doesn’t just impact your work—it can carry into your personal life too.

Final Thought

Before assuming a role isn’t fulfilling—or jumping to the next opportunity—take a step back and evaluate:

👉 Do I fully understand what I need?
👉 Am I showing up in alignment with that?

Because clarity changes everything.

When you understand your needs, you don’t just work—you grow with intention.

Source

This reflection is inspired by general principles from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a widely recognized framework for understanding human motivation.

When Co-Parenting Gets Hard: Choosing Peace Over Control

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There’s something about sitting in a courtroom for a custody hearing that you can’t really prepare for.

It’s heavy.

I remember thinking… how did we get here?
How did communication between two people who share a child end up needing structure from the court system?

Over time, things can shift miscommunication, different perspectives, unresolved issues. And sometimes, the most peaceful way forward is allowing a neutral system to help create clarity.

Not because anyone “wins”… but because the child deserves stability.

Still, that doesn’t make it easy.

Sitting in that courtroom as a parent especially as a mom can feel overwhelming. Even when you have support, even when you have a village… there are moments where it feels like you’re carrying it alone.

And that feeling is real.

In another situation, I’ve also experienced what it looks like to have co-parenting conversations outside of court.

And I’ll be honest there are pros and challenges to both.

When things are handled outside of court, it requires a high level of communication, respect, and a shared focus on the child. When both parents are aligned in that way, it can create flexibility and cooperation that really benefits everyone.

But when that alignment isn’t fully there, structure can become necessary.

And that’s where the court can provide consistency clear expectations, defined schedules, and stability for the child, regardless of emotions.

A personal moment that shifted my perspective:

When I sat down with my youngest daughter’s father to talk through our parenting schedule, I went into the conversation expecting it to be difficult.

There was a moment of tension early on that made me think it could go in that direction.

But before reacting, I took a breath, stayed grounded, and kept the focus on our baby girl.

What I found was that when I approached the conversation with calmness and intention, it shifted everything. We were able to communicate, find common ground, and build a foundation for co-parenting that felt respectful and centered around her.

And I truly believe it can continue that way as long as we both stay focused on making decisions that serve our child first.

Co-parenting works best when the focus shifts from control to the child.

Something I’ve learned through all of this is that co-parenting doesn’t always look the same.

Sometimes it looks like strong teamwork.

And sometimes it looks more like parallel parenting where each parent creates a healthy, stable environment on their own time, in their own space.

And while that may not be the picture we once imagined…

It can still be effective.

It can still be healthy.

And most importantly it can still serve the child well.

So what do you do if you find yourself navigating co-parenting in any form?

My biggest piece of advice is this:

Keep the focus on your child.

Not the past.
Not the disagreements.
Not what the other parent is doing.

Just the child.

There will be moments where emotions come up and that’s natural.

But learning how to process those emotions in a healthy way, without letting them drive your decisions, is what makes the biggest difference.

For me, that looks like praying and releasing what I can’t control, finding healthy outlets to reset emotionally, and intentionally creating positive, loving moments with my kids.

Because at the end of the day…

That’s what they will remember.

I’ve also had to come to terms with something that isn’t always easy to accept:

Sometimes, the family dynamic we once hoped for doesn’t unfold the way we imagined.

And that can be hard.

But what is always within your control is how you show up as a parent.

The love you give.
The stability you create.
The environment you build.

And while you’re doing all of that…

Don’t forget about yourself.

Your healing matters.
Your peace matters.
Your growth matters.

Because the healthier you are emotionally, mentally, spiritually the better you’re able to show up for your children.

So give yourself grace.

Build your support system.

Stay grounded in what truly matters.

And keep showing up with love.

With love
Momma Riah 💜

The Journey of Self-Love and Growth

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Faith

If I’m being honest, I feel like God has been redirecting my entire life.

Not in a small way… in a tear-it-down-and-rebuild-it kind of way.

I’ve felt called to share my story to be open, to build community, to speak on the things people don’t always say out loud. I don’t fully know what that looks like yet, but I do know this: obedience comes before clarity.

So I started where I could.

I shared my truth.

And in doing that, I stepped into the beginning of a life that feels different. Fuller. Lighter. More aligned. A life that I now recognize as being shaped by God’s will not just my own.

Because the truth is, before this, my thoughts, my actions, and my decisions were rooted in fear, grief, and pain. I was stuck there longer than I want to admit. It felt like I couldn’t move forward no matter how hard I tried.

But the moment I truly opened my heart to the Lord not halfway, not when it was convenient, but fully everything shifted.

It felt like I was offered a new life.

Now I’m learning to listen. To move when He says move. To trust even when I don’t understand.

And in such a short time, I’ve experienced a level of peace, joy, and clarity that I didn’t even know I was missing.

This season I’m in is not punishment. It’s preparation.

God is teaching me obedience. He’s building me. Positioning me.

I’m not behind. I’m being prepared.

And once I surrendered those heavy things I was carrying, He showed up. Over and over again.

I am blessed.

Healing

Let me be clear I am not fully healed.

My heart still aches sometimes.
My thoughts aren’t always positive.
My body still leans toward comfort over discipline.
I still have moments where I react instead of respond.

But I’m not who I used to be either.

And that matters.

I’m a work in progress and for the first time, I’m okay with that. Because now, I want better for myself. I’m choosing better.

There was a point where I thought my heart was becoming cold from disappointment. But now I see I still have so much love to give. To my kids. To myself. To others even when it’s hard.

And then there was a moment that made me realize just how much had already changed.

I was sitting in my living room, scrolling TikTok, while my girls were in the background laughing, playing, just being kids.

A video came across my feed from a creator I keep seeing the kind that always says something that hits right when you need it. And she was talking about what it feels like when things finally start working out.

And something about that made me pause.

I looked up.

I really looked.

My girls were giggling, completely at peace.
We were in a safe, stable home.
There was no chaos in that moment. No fear. No pressure.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt full.

Not distracted.
Not surviving.
Not just getting through it.

I felt like I was actually loving my life.

And that realization hit me hard.

Because if you would have asked me maybe 20 days before that if I loved my life, I would have said yes without hesitation. I thought what I had was enough. I appreciated it.

But truly loving my life feeling it I didn’t have that.

I loved the people in my life, but I hadn’t learned how to love my own life.

That moment changed something in me.

Not because everything was perfect, but because I was finally present enough to see what God had already done.

That peace I felt, that fullness, that was confirmation.

That I’m on the right path.
That I’m moving toward something greater.
That abundance isn’t just coming it’s already starting.

And all it took was slowing down long enough to hear my girls laugh.

What Healing Looks Like for Me Right Now

Healing didn’t start with a big breakthrough.

It started with a promise to love myself the way I’ve loved others.

So I started showing up for me.

I buy myself flowers because I deserve beauty in my life.
I go to the gym because I want to feel strong and healthy.
I changed my eating habits because what I put in my body matters.
I journal and write because my mind deserves clarity.
I limit mindless scrolling and choose things that feed me instead of drain me.
I speak life over myself and challenge negative thoughts when they come.
I take my medication because my health matters.
I changed what I listen to because what I hear affects my spirit.
I invest in my growth, personally and professionally.
I spend intentional time with my kids creating moments, not just passing time.

And the biggest shift:

I stopped making excuses.

I stopped waiting.

I started living the life I know I deserve.

Growth

Let’s not get it twisted I am not perfect.

I still have a lot to work on. A lot to learn. A lot to unlearn.

But I can see the difference.

And that’s what keeps me going.

In such a short time, my life has become fuller, more intentional, more aligned. And honestly, it makes me wonder why I didn’t start sooner.

But I also know I wasn’t ready then.

Growth requires readiness. And now, I am.

My growth is rooted in two things: my relationship with God and my willingness to understand myself.

I’m learning who I really am.
Not the broken version. Not the survival version.
The whole version.

And she’s still becoming.

I don’t have a perfect picture of the woman I’m growing into yet, but I’m excited to meet her.

Because every day, I’m building her.

Piece by piece.

And I’m grateful because even when I didn’t choose God, He never stopped choosing me.

If you want to go deeper into my journey, I share more in my book Beautiful Shambles, where I open up about the lessons, the breaking points, and the rebuilding.

So stay with me.

Be part of this journey.

We can grow together. Hold each other accountable. Become better together.

Because you deserve peace too.

With love,
Mariah 💜